The Packing Peanuts of Doom
by AnimeMinion
Summary: CrackFic  Yami and Marik discover the power of packing peanuts. One-shot.


**A/N: It's 12:00 and I've got a splitting headache. =( But I'm here to test the theory that needing sleep makes you a better writer. **

**Anzu: All you do is whine. Do you think anyone cares about your headache?**

**Me: …**

**Anzu: *Sigh* AnimeMinion does not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Bolt.**

**Me: My first try at a comedy.**

**Anzu: Oh boy…**

_The Packing Peanuts of Doom_

_Yugi's POV_

_-Yugi's Room-_

It was raining outside. Badly. I told myself not to worry. Rain was normal, it happened all the time. It would stop soon. Nothing bad was going to happen today. Hopefully.

_Yami's POV_

_-Mini Living Room in the 'House' part of the Turtle Game Shop-_

"Look Pharaoh!" Marik called with much enthusiasm, "Such odd technology mortals have today."

He held up some sort of item. It appeared to be a very box of some sort.

I slowly reached forward, wondering what type of substance the box was made of. If only I could just touch it. Then maybe I'd be able to place what kind of material was used.

When I was only about an inch away, my fingertips hovering over the edge of the box, Marik pulled back strong and fast. I fell down, flat on my face. I hadn't realized I had been reaching so far forward.

"Sorry Pharaoh," Marik teased, "No touch-y."

I snarled and made another grab at the box.

Marik held it above his head. Tipping it just slightly, so that I could see what was inside.

"What's that?" I asked confused, pointing at the odd pink stuff in the box.

"What's what?" Marik asked, putting the box in front of him, so that he could see what I was pointing at.

"That pink substance."

Marik looked in the box then chuckled.

"What?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

Marik continued to cackle.

I reached for the box again. Marik moved it out of my reach. I growled.

"What's the matter Pharaoh? Never seen a packing peanut before?" Marik pulled out one of the pink things and held it in front of my face. I realized it was in the shape of a peanut.

"Does it taste good?" I asked, remembering the salty taste of the peanuts Yugi had once shared with me. Those peanuts had been a gold-ish color; I couldn't imagine what a pink one might taste like.

"Well," Marik wondered aloud as he turned the peanut around and around in his hand, "I've never actually tried one before. I mean, I got close to trying one once, but Malik stole it all for himself."

"Really?" I asked, trying to keep him distracted. I neared the box. _What are you made of?_

I couldn't help it, modern materials always made me curious.

I reached forward and rubbed an edge of the box between my fingers. It felt stronger than paper, but really spongy. Defiantly a supernatural substance.

Marik still hadn't noticed me; he was transfixed by his packing peanut.

In my opinion, it has the appearance of a marshmallow.

"I wonder what this tastes like…" Marik brought the packing to his mouth and took a huge bite.

By the look on his face, I doubt it was very appetizing.

"Bleh," Marik spat out chunks of packing peanut.

I was too busy analyzing the box to really pay him too much attention.

The box was very long. From what I could tell from the words on the front, a re-frig-er-ator used to belong in this box.

I would have to ask Yugi what a refrigerator was.

I found myself slowly crawling in. It was actually pretty deep and very comfortable.

I looked towards Marik. He had placed his half-eaten packing peanut on the ground and was glaring at it.

"Yami," he said turning towards me, "Please send this packing peanut to the Shadow Realm."

"With pleasure," I smiled, cracking my knuckles. Normally I wouldn't have done anything Marik asked of me, but I hadn't had the chance to send anyone to the Shadow Realm in a long time. Apparently, in Yugi's opinion, it wasn't polite to send people to the Shadow Realm.

What a kill joy.

I pointed my index finger towards the packing peanut, "MIND CRUSH!"

I waited for the packing peanut to explode or at least cry out in agony but it never did.

Marik and I stared at the peanut in astonishment.

"I-it's like indestructible," Marik marveled.

"More like my Kryptonite," I said, suddenly remembering that comic book Joey had shown me a couple of weeks earlier, "It weakens my powers." I started pushing the peanuts out of my box, when I realized what I had just done.

Oh no. Why did I say that?

I watched as Marik's mouth formed a smile. And then before I knew it he was leaping at the box.

"Take this Pharaoh!"

Before I knew it, I was buried under a pile of peanuts.

I could feel my powers weakening. "AH! Get 'em of!"

It was at about this time, that Yugi, Ryou, and Bakura peeked in. Malik was out, leaving us to watch his darker half.

"Yami?" Yugi asked.

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

I looked up at Marik, "Being smothered by Marik, why?"

Yugi looked at Ryou with a bewildered look on his face.

"Just don't respond," Ryou replied.

Bakura peeked over Ryou's shoulder, "What's going on?"

"Marik's smothering Yami."

Bakura broke out into a smile, "I WANNA HELP!" _Of _course_ he did._

"It involves packing peanuts," Ryou said with a devious smirk.

"NOOOOO! NOT PACKING PEANUTS! ANYTHING, BUT PACKING PEANUTS!" Bakura screeched before tearing out the front door.

"I better go get him," Ryou sighed following his darker half out the door and into the rain.

Yugi watched Ryou leave before turning back to Marik and me. He had his hands on his hips like a disappointed parent.

"Can't you two wait five minutes before attempting to kill each other?" Yugi asked.

"Nooo," Marik and I replied meekly.

As if to demonstrate this, Marik jammed my head into a pile of pink peanuts. I screeched in pain.

Yugi shook his head back and forth, before heading back up to his room.

Marik watched him go. I took this sign of distraction as a weak point and tackled him into the peanuts.

"DIE!" I snarled, as I shoved several packing peanuts into Marik's mouth.

He growled through the mouthful angrily.

"Serves you right," I muttered darkly.

Marik growled again, ready to drown me in another pile of peanuts. But just before he had the chance, the front door swung open, revealing a very relaxed looking Malik, a disturbed Ryou, and a Bakura who at the moment had the appearance of a serial killer. All three were drenched from the storm.

"PACKING PEANUTS!" Bakura snarled before pulling out a Nerf gun. He then ran towards us, swinging the Nerf gun like a lunatic, smashing the peanuts along the way.

Both Marik and I dove out of the way.

It wasn't until all the packing peanuts were smushed deeply into the carpet, that Bakura finally stopped his wave of terror. "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!"

And then, Bakura disappeared out the front door again, with Ryou on his heels.

A long silence followed.

"Well," Malik started once the random moment was over, "Did you have an interesting afternoon?"

**Fin**

**Anzu: That…sucked.**

**Me: Very much so.**

**Bakura: PEANUTS!**

**Anzu: …**

**Me: Please review!**


End file.
